Believing

What does it take to trust?

How do you believe in someone who has fallen down a lot of times, and failed to get up?

How do you believe in yourself? When you don’t, you can’t, and you’ve seen your worst more than anybody else.

Second chances rarely matter, contrary to popular belief.

You fall, and then you fall again.

But the failure lies not in the fact that you have fallen down, it’s the fact that you failed to get up.

Reasons, excuses, rationalizing whatever that happened.

You apologize to others for failing them, but it’s yourself who you have to apologize to the most.

Because you know you have more potential than what you show.

There is no such thing as fear of failure, there’s only fear of not doing your best.

Yes. It would hurt if you think you’ve done your best, but it just wasn’t enough.

But the what-ifs, the agony of thinking what should have been done, the suffering you’ll go through thinking of different paths that could have been, aren’t these more painful?

These are the things that slowly poison your faith in yourself, the dark thoughts that filter through your mind.

Isn’t that much more painful and all the more vicious because of the wounds that slowly heal from time?

And not only that, time wouldn’t be enough to heal it. Time is insufficient for that trust to come back.

Passively waiting for it to return, it’s just asking for another heart break, another wound to heal from. Such is the vicious cycle of failing and waiting.

You don’t trust yourself, so others don’t trust you. Others do not trust you, so you don’t trust yourself.

See where I’m going?

To be able to break that chain of suffering, that painful paradox, one must be willing to get out of it.

You must be willing to make effort; you must be willing to push through your limits.

You don’t get the results right away. It may take months, even years to see it blossom. Patience is a virtue they say.

Fixing something broken does not take a short time. It needs effort and consistency.

It requires not only removing the limits that you have unconsciously placed upon yourself, but also getting rid of the pressure you have unknowingly felt all along.

It’s a never ending battle against yourself.

And in order to win, no matter how many times you fall, no matter how many times you stumble down, no matter how many times that you feel you can’t take it anymore;

You must never, ever, give up on yourself. Other people can and may give up on you, your friends, your family but you must never willingly give up on yourself.

Doing so will make you fall into the bottom of the deep ocean of despair that is harder to get out from. You will be drowning in darkness, fighting desperately to breathe. The waves of the ocean will to prevent you from ever reaching the land..

The only way to swim out of it to reach for the life line that only God can give.

Because when you can’t trust yourself and gave up on everything, God is there.

Trust in God because He believes in you, hence your continued existence.

You can rest and take a deep breathe in order to regain your strength and fight back again.

Taking a breather is not giving up.

Giving up is when you stop trying.

So don’t stop trying. Most of the time, fear and anxiety will stop you. But don’t believe in them; even if it seems true don’t let them stop you.

You were the one who gave voice to those fears. And you can take it away by listening to the voice of hope inside you just waiting to be heard. The voice that tells you, you can do it, you will do it, just believe.

God gave us the light of hope inside of ourselves; we just keep on searching for it in the wrong places.

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