Disclaimer: The following was an entry to a contest in a Love Letter Writing Contest in 2014
You know who you are, or maybe you don’t:
We had a chance. I didn’t take it. You didn’t fight for it. We had love. I had fear. You had jealousy. Like the fools we were, in the middle of youth, we believed so much in love. I knew you wanted something else. You knew I was here just to stay. It was wrong. It started wrong and so it ended wrong. They say that what matters is the ending and not the beginning. They should know better how hard it is to change things with your own hands. The force of love wasn’t strong enough to change the direction of where we were going.
I didn’t expect things would go this way. Disagreements were all we ever had. You believed in this. I believed in that. Though somehow, amidst the chaos of our connections, I somehow understood you. Or so I thought. The pain you felt, the pain that I couldn’t bear watching, I know that I made it worse. Poems after poems, letters after letters, I tried to say what I feel. I tried to apologize. I tried to confess. What’s effort with results? It’s called not giving up. It’s ironic, that people knew what I felt through a thousand words that I wrote, but somehow it didn’t reach you. Or maybe it did, you just didn’t know what to say. We were never direct. We never saw eye to eye. And so I let go of my pen. In the words of Elsa from Frozen: “Let it go”.
From the beginning we were strangers, and we still are. The friendship that I tried so hard to keep; that I cried for, the friendship that you had taken for granted is gone. Oh, I know we tried. We tried to keep it. We’re still trying in fact. We tried to return to what we were. We can’t. We shouldn’t.
I still remember every letter, every word that we exchanged. We were so childish, but I knew back then that I tried to be mature. I thought I was doing the right thing. I’ve never been so wrong. The wounds I received in the past, there still remains a scar. It’s annoying, that I would feel a phantom pain every time I see it. Things once broken can be fixed, but it will never be the same.
I prayed to God that things will be alright. And it is. He gave me a lesson. A lesson well learned. To love others is not enough. You must love yourself first. So thank You God.
Thanks to you too.
Hello dear stranger. And I hope you are doing well.