Neurotic

Note: Written in 2010 for Poetry Slam in HS

Strong, brave, responsible, trusthworthy
That’s what other people say but is that really me?
As I stare into the mirror, all I see is the converse
A weak entity existing in the universe

Sometimes I don’t want to do what I can
For surely you’ll expect more and again
I’m frustrated, confused, and exhausted
Sometimes I wish for my deathbed

Left, right, up, and down
These things that make me drown
Hallucination and imagination
For me I see no distinction

Stop! Stop. I want everything to stop
But unfortunately the next best thing for me is to stop
Time won’t halt for one person
Especially for something so wanton

Call me crazy, overreacting, or depressed
For me I just want and need to rest
To regain my energy and be the best that I can be
The truth is I don’t know what’s wrong with me

For the mean time, stay away from me
Let me sulk in peace and break down sadly
I don’t want you to see me so vulnerable
The sadness of others cause me more to be miserable

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How to Talk to an Awkward Turtle

So hello, for my first blog post of the year I will be talking about my awkwardness and how to talk to awkward people like me! Isn’t that fun? *runs away from people*

I was an extroverted child, then as I grew up I don’t know what happened. I notice things that people don’t and maybe the stimulus gets too much which is why some people would describe me both as sensitive and dense. I know too much and too little at the same time. I can talk and socialize when needed, but I prefer listening and observing.

Anyway, since it is the month of February, and although we don’t really celebrate Valentine’s day, and I’m basically a wallflower, I’ve had my fair share of romance *coughs awkwardly* if I can even call it that.

I’ve never confessed to anyone. Except maybe that one time during my highschool graduation ball but my friends told me it wasn’t a proper one since it was after the fact, meaning I told the person I liked them 2 years before the confession type. Shrewd and pointless right??? I was so awkward back then, oh wait I still am.

Nobody ever confessed to me. Except that nice person who I had to turn down politely because I was too surprised and I didn’t know what to do. The poor kid had bad tastes in liking me. I felt guilty that they had to spell it out for me because I was kind of in denial and at the same time oblivous about what they were trying to say. Which brings me to my next point of the blog, the instructions!!! Tadaaaaa. Yes, I went from point A to point Z in a jiffy. Smooth talking *or writing*, right? Right. To the instructions we go!

1) Don’t talk in codes. Seriously. If you want to say something, borrow something, ask for a favor, or whatever, just SAY IT STRAIGHT. Awkward turtles will just waste time wondering why you’re talking to them in the first place and it sends warning signals in their brains.

2) Be careful with non-verbal communication. Since awkward turtles are awkward *I cannot emphasize this enough*, at the very least they are aware sometimes of what you are not saying and focuses on your actions. Awkward turtles have weird senses so they can warn themselves if they have to retreat in their shell. They startle easily.

3) Awkward turtles are turtles. They are SLOW. Whether it be in actions or understanding things, so have a little patience when socializing with them. Better yet, like the first instruction, go straight to the point.

4) If you find out the interests of an awkward turtle, they will go out of the shell. Since they rarely go out of their shells, they will most likely go all out when talking about it, so again, please have patience and don’t make them say sorry for their likes and passion.

5) If they talk to you out of their own will, be happy that they tried. Really. It’s of a great effort, unless you’re already close to them. Say it straight if they are bothering you, they won’t talk it against you because they’re expecting that they’re a bother.

Awkward turtles are happy with genuine and sincere people. I think even a non-awkward turtle would be.

So the main technique on how to talk to an awkward turtle? Just be real.

This is a public service post for the awkward turtles and nice people who want to talk to awkward turtles.

Thank you for reading, and I hope this helps. Lol.