In loving memory of the girl who tried

She was bright and joyful. She would greet people with a smile, she would wave happily at anyone she knew. She would love unconditionally. She was a bit childish, light and airy. Quite immature, some would say.

She was a natural pacifist, and hated conflicts. She would listen with an open mind, and she would try her best to mediate. She was rational but would nevertheless be stubborn and fight for what she thinks is right.

She was an idealist born in a world of opportunities, and so she tried.

But she tried too hard.

Her world turned into disappointment, lies and broken promises. She was naive, they said. She was too softhearted, they said. As she tried to keep her heart, her humanity despite everything, she kept on losing.

Still she tried. She walked on. She tried to hide her weariness and hatred deep down. She choked on the vitriolic words she could have said but did not say. She held herself tightly as she was falling apart. She held back even though she knew she should only walk forward.

She was better than that. She could do better than that. She is only human.

The girl who tried turned into the girl who was tired.

She did not have a healing aura, she was only doing what she thinks is right. She did not attract damaged people, society just changed to the point nobody knew how to handle themselves. She did not have the job of healing everyone but she wanted to. She tried.

“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Stupidly, she still tried.

This is in loving memory of the girl who tried.

With the help of God, she will be back and she will be better. She’ll return one day and then she will be the girl who did.

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