Clumsy

I thought I’d try writing short stories again. So I did. Plus I wanted to let things out.

“I trip. But I always get up. I don’t understand why people think tripping is a big deal. Unless you trip down a flight of stairs and end up in a hospital, that’s another matter. I would trip from time to time, because I’m only human, a clumsy one but I’m human. Normal people trip right? It just so happens that I fall too often, but I always get up. I always try to get up. I may lie down for a moments, just to get my bearing, but I always get up,” said a girl with a short hair who was lying down on the grass on her back.

“You’ve been lying there for more than thirty minutes,” a boy replied while rummaging around his bag looking for something. “You have to get up sooner or later.”

“I’m just feeling the grass, plus I’m just tired, I thought I could take a lil nap. Is there something wrong with that?” she haughtily said while using her arm to cover her eyes from the glaring sunlight. “And don’t you remember the time I fell in front of the class because of stupid gravity, I got back right up.”

“. . . .” the boy was speechless, not knowing what to say to her or how to even react at her seemingly pointless statements and unusual actions.

“What. I have the right to enjoy the greenery. Plus I was the one who tripped and scraped my knees. Not you,” said the girl, not moving an inch from her position.

“Get up, your knees are bleeding,” the boy offered the girl a hand which she hesitantly took. “Come on, up you go,” he pulled the girl up easily and the girl stood.

“Yeah yeah, but I told you, I always get up, I’ve been doing it on my own all this time,” the girl happily exclaimed as she dusted her clothes.

“Hmm, right. Here. Clean those wounds,” the boy offered the girl a first-aid kit, he was oblivious to the growing turmoil inside the girl.

“Why won’t you understand?” the girl suddenly whispered to herself, not taking the offered object from the boy’s hand.

“I always get up, no matter how many times I fall, no matter how much I just wanted to stay there. I always get up.” the girl repeated out loud, as if to prove to herself and to everybody else something which only she knows.

“We’ve established that, yes. You just tripped and got up again, which is what people do when they fall. So what’s the big deal?”

“It’s not just. . .you. . ” the girl spluttered and realized it was another lost cause. The girl took a deep breath.

“You know what, it’s nothing. Overthinking and things. I’m sorry for acting strange. I’m fine,” she said with a big smile, taking the first-aid kit from his hands with her own shaky ones, both of them noticing it but neither acknowledged. “Thanks.”

Reflection

There is something about mirrors, that when you look at them, you are unsure of what you are seeing.

You know you should be seeing yourself, but somehow you don’t. You see yourself clearly, and yet you wonder why they can’t see you for who you are. There is a dissonance between your viewpoint and theirs. They have a different set of adjectives to describe you, and you have a different set of adjectives to describe yourself. Who is right? Who is wrong?

Do you truly know yourself, or are you deluding yourself into being someone you are not? Which is true? Which is false? When you stare at the mirror while wearing a mask, it will show you wearing a mask. It will not show your face when you are clearly wearing a mask.

The conflict between who is right and wrong will continue, even though there is nothing right or wrong about it. It’s all about perspective and acceptance. In order to reconcile the warring sides, you have to accept the fact that sometimes you see something that they don’t, and they see something that you don’t.

It’s not that they’re wrong about you, or you’re wrong about yourself. It’s just that a person is rarely so simple underneath the surface. A person shows different facets and sides. Human beings are complex creatures, sometimes they’re predictable, but often times they’ll surprise you. Generalization is a dangerous fallacy. Try to learn and see beyond what is obvious, maybe then you’ll understand.

People change. Feelings change. It’s no wonder that your reflection changes too.